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Chapter 37

The first attack hit my wall, and for a moment I thought it wouldn’t hold up, but it was still intact when the next attack hit.

“Come on, we have to attack together!  We’re only wasting our time with the individual attacks,” Areto said, “I can feel her laughing at us.”

“Not even our mothers can harm her, what makes you think we will be able to do anything to her?” Ainia complained.

“If you think you are going to lose from the beginning, there’s no way you would be successful.  Your mindset is very important, how you perceive things affect what you are capable of.” I lectured them.  “If you go into battle thinking that you won’t be able to defeat your opponent, I can warranty you that you will lose.”  I left my meditation pose and dropped my psychic wall.

“So, if we attack and are convinced that we are going to win, then we will win?” Asked Molpadia.

“Maybe you will, maybe you won’t.  It depends also on my capabilities and my own mindset, but at least you will have a real chance.  Think about this: Before I arrived, did you ever thought that you would be able to defeat your cousins?  That you would be stronger than Valasca?”

“No, never.  They always said that I was too weak, and I was, whatever I did, it was never enough.”

“What changed when I arrived?”

“You told me I was stronger than I gave myself credit for, that if I tried I was going to be stronger than everybody else.  At first I wasn’t sure, but you showed me how to use my powers and what I could do with them.”

“Well, it’s the same for everyone.  First, you have to believe you can do something, then you have to work for it.  Things don’t happen just because, you have to make them happen.  But a positive mind and hard work can take you a long way.”  I watched the young Amazons and Spike.  After my fight with Alkaia the group had gotten smaller, but I still had all of Bremusa’s daughters, plus Areto and Molpadia.  I didn’t need my clairvoyance to know that I had the future of the Amazons in front of me.  Molpadia was going to be the Queen, and those around her, her Generals.  As long as I had them, I had everything I needed.

“I think I get it,” Euryleia said, “but I’m not sure it works like you say it does.”

“All of my life I heard it was impossible for me to have a double mind, or that it was impossible for me to use anything but telekinesis.  I could move things with my mind and that was all.  But I knew that I could do more, and once people started to validate my beliefs I started to do more.  As soon as I convinced myself that I could, I started to show progress.  It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t fast, but over time I was able to do everything I was told I couldn’t do.”

“You were lucky.” Spike said.

“It wasn’t luck, it was hard work.  Believe, it wasn’t easy, there was a lot of pain involved.  Many times I thought about giving up, but I had a goal and I worked hard to reach it.  I believe in all of you, and I want you to believe in yourselves.  Pick a goal and work towards it.  I think that’s all for today, you have a lot of thinking to do, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks Pitonisa.  See you tomorrow.”  Molpadia said before leaving.  Her cousins were right behind her.

Spike walked next to me on our way back, not behind like he usually did.  For most Amazons that would be an unforgivable offense, for me it was a show of trust.  We walked in a comfortable silence, each of us trapped in our own thoughts.  Me, thinking about the future, Spike still thinking about his situation and how to get out of it.

We arrived to the house, but as soon as I stepped inside I knew something was wrong.  I stopped at the door, I immediately put my psychic wall up and prepared for any attack.  I spotted my visitor at the same time Spike did, the shadow moved and before I could do something, Spike ran inside, he too had activated his power and attacked the man, but he was too fast for him and sent him crashing to the other side of the room.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I don’t have any business with you, I’m looking for my Prince.”

“I’m afraid he’s away, but even if he was here, you are not longer welcome.”

“You know him?” Spike asked.  His ego was bruised because of the failed attack, but he was prepared to attack again if necessary.

“He comes from the same Clan as Kimball.”

“And I have Clan business to discuss with him.   When is he going to be back?”

“The last time you took him, he almost died.  I helped you convince him to leave because you told me you would look over him, but you broke your promise.”

“I did what I could, but it was a difficult situation.  But he survived, he got back.”

“If you had done your job, there wouldn’t have been any problems.”

“I was following orders.  Kimball’s security wasn’t our priority, the embassadors’ were.  I did what he told me to do.”

“Still, that wasn’t what I asked of you.  I will give you just one warning: leave, and don’t come back.  If I see you again I won’t be so understanding, I will treat you as an enemy.”

“Are you threatening me?” I felt the shift in his demeanor, he was getting ready to fight.

“No, I’m warning you,” I used my powers to lift him in the air.  “Leave and don’t come back.”  I threw him at the door, he shifted in the air and didn’t crash, he landed easily despite the short time and space to maneuver.

“I have a mission to complete, I can’t leave without talking to Kimball.  And if you are hiding him, you will regret it.” Before I could respond, he left the house, he blended with the shadows outside and I lost sight of him.

“What is going on?” Spike was confused, he didn’t understand what we were talking about.

“Kimball’s territory is at war, and they want him back to help them fight, but the last time he went with them, he almost died,” I collapsed in the closest sofa, I was tired.  “I can’t let him go again, his life would be at risk and I can’t lose him.”

“Kimball is very strong, he can take care of himself.”

“Of course he is, but no one is invincible.”

“Well, no one knows when he’s going to die, but that doesn’t mean he has to be afraid all the time.”

“I know when I’m going to die.  I have plenty of time left, and I don’t want to spend it alone.”  Before he could say anything I left the place and hid in my bedroom.  I knew things were going to get difficult again, and I was afraid.

Once I felt better I went back downstairs and helped Spike with dinner.  I knew he had a lot of questions, but he kept silent, not wanting to offend me or make me mad.  After an awkward silence, I went back to my room.

I was yanked out of sleep by someone moving in my bed.  I tried to get out of bed, but strong arms stopped me.

“Calm down, it’s me.”  When I heard Kimball’s voice I immediately felt better.

“Kimball!” I turned to face him and hugged him back, I had missed him so much.

“How have you been?  And why is Spike sleeping outside your door?”

“I guess he’s feeling a little overprotective after the visitor we had this afternoon.”

“Yeah, I figured it was something like that.  Your visitor found me before I arrived here.  I hope he didn’t cause any problems.”

“I can handle him, but Spike was worried.”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“So… why was he looking for you?  Do you have to go back?”  I tried to hide my fears, but as always he could see everything I was thinking.

“I won’t leave you, nothing is going to tear us apart.”

“Thanks.”  I shouldn’t be so worried, it wasn’t normal or healthy to need him so much.  “So, you are not mad at me anymore?”

“No, and I’m sorry.  I’m not sure why I acted like that.  And you were right, they belong with each other, and that place isn’t so bad.”

“Did you see Malkia?” What had hurt more about our fight was Kimball’s assumption that I didn’t care about my daughters.  There wasn’t a day I didn’t miss them or thought about them, but I was thinking about their well being, I couldn’t be selfish and compromise their futures.”

“I did.  Apparently they’re always getting in trouble, trying to be together.”

“I knew they would find each other eventually, but I’m happy they did it this early.”

Kimball told me about his trip, the way he had infiltrated the Fortress impersonating a General.  I hadn’t even realized he had taken Vasumar’s insignia, the one I kept to remember him.  He told me about little Greca and her escapade to be with Malkia, and how her sister had dropped everything to meet her.  He told me how he had spent the night with Greca in his arms, and I felt jelous, which was silly, I had spent many nights with her sleeping in my arms, and he had only one opportunity to do the same.  I realized that Kimball had been right, I had Greca for myself for a few days, he had just one night, and he loved her as much as I did, it had to be difficult.

Once he finished, I told him about my fight with Alkaia and how Valasca was doing her best to get Alkaia and the others against me.  I told him how Molpadia and some of the other young Amazons had rallied to my side and helped me, and how that complicated things, now Alkaia believed I was trying to get the youngsters against her, and because of that, she wanted me out of her territory.

After getting reacquainted with each other we fell asleep, and for the first time in days I had a good rest.  When I woke up Kimball wasn’t there, for a minute I wondered if I had imagined him, but then he walked inside, carrying a breakfast tray.

“I was talking with Spike,” he started, “and apparently you let some things out in your story last night.  He said that your fight was worse that what you told me, so bad that you had a few nightmares while I was gone.”

“It wasn’t that bad, I had it all under control, it’s just that Spike worries too much.  I had a headache, but it only took me one day to recover.  I guess I had the nightmares because of the headache, but again, it wasn’t that bad, I don’t even remember them.  Stop worrying so much.”

“I can’t help but worry, I’m supposed to be with you, help you with anything that bother you, and I wasn’t.  I could have been worse and I wasn’t here.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry.”  I started to eat, but the silence was just too heavy.  “You didn’t tell me why your Clan is looking for you.”  I asked to break the silence.  I needed to know why Kimball was so worried, it wasn’t just me.

“I think you already guessed that my country is in trouble again.  After the failed attack on us, our enemies left us alone for a while, but they’re getting interested in us again.  The only advantage is that the most countries under their control, the slower the next conquest is.  They are doing a good job buying, blackmailing or threatening the leaders of the countries they conquest, but people is not happy, and they have to be careful or they are going to get a revolt on their hands.  The problem is the less countries under the control, the more they can focus their attack powers on them.”

“What do you want to do?  Do you want to go help them?”

“Like I said last time, I’m tired of helping them, I deserve to be a little selfish and think about me.  I want you, and I’m going to be where you are.  What do you want to do?”

“I want to go back to my home, I want my family, but I don’t know if I can.  Truth is, I’m not sure what I would do if I go back.  All they need is a moment of weakness and I’m done, as soon as they discover I am a Seeress they will throw me to the underground caves, for my own protection.”

“Maybe if I go with you I can protect you and keep them from forcing you out.  Your visions are usually short, I can cover for you for that time.  The rest of the time you will be able to show them who’s in charge.”

“Sound good, and even if things go south, I’ll have you to help me get out.”

“So that’s it?  Are we going to the Empire?”

“That’s a new possibility, one I will have to explore, I’ll have to see the paths that are now opening in my future.  I will take a couple of days to explore my options and then decide what is the best course of action.  We have to consider it’s not only me who has to survive getting back, you have to be accepted too.  I can’t go back without you.”

“Everything will be ok, there’s no enemy who can stop us if we are together.”

“Thanks.”  As always, Kimball’s presence and words brought me peace and tranquility.  Maybe we could make it work.  The visions I had while being pregnant with Malkia had been horrible, but things had changed and I couldn’t stay with the Amazons anymore.  I needed to see if I could go back, and if not, find a new home.  Maybe we could go to the Shadows Clan, things couldn’t be as bad as Kimball said.

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