Chapter 60

After a few weeks I realized that I needed answers, it was becoming obvious that I couldn’t keep going the same way, Kimball was miserable, walking like a ghost, taking every opportunity he had to ask me to take him back, and I wasn’t that much better, being away from him wasn’t helping me feel better, but I couldn’t go back to him either. I wanted to go back to the way we were, but I didn’t know how. Mbali words kept coming back to me, I needed answers and I knew I could find them in the fog of the future, I needed to know I was making the right choices, but it wasn’t easy. Melchizedek was out of my reach, I couldn’t depend on him to help, and going into the fog alone could be dangerous.

The problem with the future was that the farther I needed to see, the more possibilities there were, to see a few hours or days wasn’t that hard, because the choices were few, but if I wanted to see weeks, months or years into the future, the possibilities grew exponentially. To see every possibility I would need an eternity, I needed to know what paths to walk, to know which ones were more likely to happen, but it wasn’t easy, especially without a guide to help me. Despite the problems, I needed to take the risk, I needed to stop wasting time and make a decision, I couldn’t keep living like that, without knowing what to do or where to go.

“Mbali, can you do me a favor?” I was lucky to find Mbali in the kitchen, I was hoping to find her there, I knew she didn’t like to have breakfast in the dining room, she preferred the kitchen where she could have any food available to her.

“Of course, you know you can count on me, I will help with whatever I can.”

“I need you to look after Ethan today, I need some time for myself and I don’t want to worry about Ethan, if you can keep an eye on him for a few hours, at least until Kimball is free to look after him, I would be very grateful. Kimball should be free in the afternoon.”

“That’s all? It will be my pleasure, you know I love to take care of Ethan, he is the most beautiful and charming baby I know. Don’t worry about anything, take your time, do what you need to do, Ethan will be just fine.”

“Thanks, I know he will be ok, I trust you.”

It wasn’t easy to leave Ethan with someone else, but I knew that I couldn’t be with him all the time, I needed to leave him with someone I could trust while I couldn’t take care of him. I wouldn’t be able to look after him while walking the fog of the future. I knew I was taking a risk by going alone, it was impossible to measure time while being there, but I trusted I would be able to return before long, I was expecting to be back before anything could happen to my body.

The first step was always the hardest, it wasn’t easy to walk into the fog, to feel lost. Usually I had a vision or something to focus when walking into the fog, but I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. I needed to find a path that would take me to a happy future, one where I could be safe, with my family, without fear. There were many paths in front of me, some were clearer, some more likely to become reality. I decided to start with the ones that I knew had the best possibility of becoming a reality. I couldn’t see everything while walking the paths, if I stopped to see every detail it would take an eternity, I was just looking for glimpses of the future, enough to let me get an idea of what it would be like. I needed to focus on the bigger picture, I would have time for details later.

Some of the paths showed Kimball by my side, in others I was alone. It didn’t take long to realize that the futures without Kimball were empty. I didn’t need details to know that without Kimball I would be missing something. The futures with Kimball weren’t all good, in some I could see fights and conflict, I couldn’t be sure that those futures were safe, or if we would still be fighting.

While I was walking the paths of my future, I kept catching glimpses of other futures, at first I tried to ignore them, but they kept blocking my paths. Melchizedek always said that sometimes the answers we needed weren’t in the place we expected, sometimes the goddess of Destiny tried to speak to us, and we needed to be willing to listen, so I realized that I needed to pay more attention to the futures trying to get my attention.

Sofía, her presence was strong, she was a key component of the future, not only mine, but the future of other countries and the Republic. I knew that I needed to make sense of the images, to pay attention to the paths that were crossing my own, but when I tried to focus, I felt like the fog was clearing and I found myself back in the present, trapped, not being able to move. I panicked, I tried to fight back and I was able to break free easily, just to realize that my prison were Kimball’s arms, and that he was setting me free.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I was worried about you, I thought you were gone again.”

“I was trying to see my future, you shouldn’t be that surprise, you have seen me gone before.”

“You were never gone for so long, it’s been more than a day since you asked Mbali to take care of Ethan,” Kimball’s words didn’t make sense, it felt like I had been gone for a few minutes, but I knew it was one of the risks I would face by visiting the future, it was easy to lost track of time. “I wasn’t sure what you were doing, but none of the options were good. I was afraid you were back inside your won mind, or that you had gone in an astral journey and got attacked again by the lower planes demons, and even the idea of you in the fog of the future wasn’t good, you told me that some seers could get lost there and lose their sense of time. There are many ways I could lose you, and I hate that there’s nothing I can do to protect you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine and I’m back, in fact, I think that you helped me get back. I need some food and rest, but I need to go back there, I haven’t found what I’m looking for.”

“Don’t move, get some rest and I’m going to get you some food, I’ll be right back,” he said at the time he handed me a glass of water, I was grateful for it, I was thirsty and haven’t even realized it until I saw the water he offered.

“I can go to the kitchen, you don’t have to do it.”

“I want to do it, please, let me help.”

“Okay,” I could feel Kimball’s feelings, he was scared, worried, and was having trouble keeping it under control. I wasn’t sure what instinct he was trying to suppress, but I knew he needed to do something or he was going to lose it.

As I was waiting for him to come back, I wondered what he was going to do, he was scared again, and I was afraid of how far he would go to try to keep me safe. With my powers I was able to sense how scared he was by what had happened, and I knew he wanted to keep me safe, but how would he do that if the danger was my own mind? What was he willing to do to keep me out of danger?

“I hope you like this, I didn’t want to waste time, so I grabbed what was availabe,” Kimball put a tray with food in front of me, and my stomach growled, reminding me that I haven’t eaten in over a day.

“This is great, thank you.” I watched the food in front of me and for a moment I doubted if it was safe, it could be possible for him to have put a sedative or some drug in the food.

“You don’t have to worry, the food is safe, I won’t try to drug you or hurt you ever again. I hope you can trust me, I just want you to have something to eat, I want you to be healthy.”

“You can’t blame me for not trusting you,” I accused him, as I took a piece of fruit.

“I know I made a mistake, but I wouldn’t like you to remember all the good I did, don’t focus on my mistakes.”

“It’s hard to earn someone’s trust, but it’s very easy to lose it, especially with me.”

“I know it won’t be easy, but I want to try.”

“Do you have any idea why most of the futures I saw showed me living under water?” I hoped he could shine some light on that.

“That’s something I wanted to talk to you about, it was supposed to be a surprise, but I know it’s hard to surprise a Seeress. A few years ago, before Emily and her husband took over, a group of scientists started a project known as Acuarium, they were trying to build a submarine habitat where they could study the ocean and its ecosystems. The original plan was to have about a hundred scientists living there, working under the sea. Emily’s attacks and total control over everything put a stop on that, most people simply forgot about it, but a friend of mine, Matthew, knew about the project and talked to me about it. Together we started planning on reviving the project, his interest is scientific, he is a construction engineer, his wife a marine biologist who wanted to be part of the original project, but couldn’t get a spot, Matthew wants to make the project real for his wife. I have a different interest in the project, I think that a submarine habitat would be very hard to find and attack, I would like to use it as a safe heaven for people at risk. Originally we planned to send the Elders Council and maybe the President, but I think it’s more important to send the families of those fighting, the kids that cannot defend themselves.”

“And you want Ethan and me to be there, safe.”

“Basically yes, but that’s not all, I would like you to be in charge of the place.” I had seen the place in the fog, but I wasn’t sure about it, I couldn’t help but think there was a catch.

“Is this a trick? Are you sending me to the bottom of the sea, so I don’t have any chance of escape? Is that just a new prison?”

“No! That’s not… I just want you to have a place to call your own, ok? A place under your control. You will be in charge of everything there, you will decide who can or can’t go in there. If you want it, not even I will be able to go there.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I’ll understand if you don’t want the responsibility, you can go as an inhabitant, not the one in charge, it’s just an option.  Originally I wanted us all to go, but I will respect whatever you want.”

“In most of the paths I traveled today I saw myself in that place,” at least in the ones Kimball was still part of, “so I guess that I will go, I accept, but I would like to see what do you have planned regarding the security and when do you plan on us moving.  There is not much space, it will be hard to choose who will go.”

“We are working on expanding the place so we can send at least 500 people.  At least half will be children, and that helps and complicates things.  They need less space, but they won’t be as helpful with the running of the place.”

“It’s good that we talked about this and that I know about the project and your plans, now that I had made a choice my future must have changed and it will be easier to see the future, many paths should have closed.  With less options it should be easier to find the answers I’m looking for.”

“I’m glad you accepted my offer, but, do you really think it’s a good idea to go back to walking the fog?  Isn’t it dangerous there?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t get lost.  Besides, you pulled me back to the present once, I’m sure that if you are really concerned and I’m gone too long you can do it again.”  I got up, I needed to go look for Ethan.  “For now all I want is to go get Ethan and get some more rest.  Tomorrow I will spend the day with Ethan and the day after tomorrow I will go back to the future:”

“If that’s what you need to do.”  I could feel Kimball rebelling to the idea of me going back and putting myself in danger, but he wasn’t doing anything to prevent me from doing it.  I wasn’t sure what to think of that.  “Get some rest Kaiserin, and remember, if you need me all you have to do is ask for my help, I will be close by in case you need me.  You can count on me for anything.”

“Thanks, but I don’t need anything right now.”

Kimball left and I got ready so I could go looking for my son.  The journey through the fog hadn’t given me the answers I needed, I had gotten more questions that answers.  I knew I needed to go back and try to make sense of my future.